October 19, 2016
Interview with Mary Lamia PhD, author of the book Emotions!
Mike Carruthers:
Your emotions are always trying to tell you something. Take envy for example…
Mary Lamia PhD:
Some of the research has shown that if you go to a party and you see someone you envy you will pay more attention to that person than anyone else at the party. And when you go home you will continue to think about them.
Clinical psychologist Mary Lamia author of the book, Emotions!
Why would envy get stirred up? Well envy really tells you what you want for yourself.
Anxiety is a common emotion that is also trying to tell you something.
Anxiety feels like a uncertain threat and it makes you place it in some context so you start worrying about something you give it a target. When in fact anxiety has amazing action potential it sharpens your focus, it helps you think on your feet and it can energize you. So rather than get immersed in the emotion take a look at it and see what is this nervous energy telling me to do?
When we make important decisions we often use logic rather than emotions which can cause trouble.
The New York Times columnist David Brooks (I love his example) he says when you’re trying to make a complex decision flip a coin but don’t pay attention to the result of the coin flip pay attention to how that makes you feel. Most of the research is showing that when it comes to making complex decisions focusing on emotions instead of details is far more effective.
