December 21, 2016
Interview with Bruce Feiler, author of the book The Secrets Of Happy Families
Mike Carruthers:
One thing happy and successful families have is fun, a lot of fun together.
Bruce Feiler:
And if you build up those positive memories – almost whatever it is that your family does, if you like to cook or hike or swim or do jigsaw puzzles – it doesn’t really matter.
Bruce Feiler, author of the book The Secrets Of Happy Families…
And if you build up those positive memories those memories will outweigh the negative ones. And when you get through a hard patch you’ll give your kids a sense that there is this bonding that you can get through the difficult times.
When you have those tough conversations, and every family has them, Bruce says it matters a lot how you sit and the words you use.
I was sitting at my desk during these conversations, up high surrounded by my computer; my wife was lower in an old swivel chair. Turns out I was in the power position and she was lower and resentful and it escalated. Now we sit at the same level. If you say I and we in a conversation, that’s showing that you’re speaking for yourself that you’re talking about being part of a team. If you say you as in you never do that or you always do that you’re going to inflame the situation.
More and more happy families are creating mission statements just like a business.
It sounded a little corny to me but then someone said to me can your kids say what values are most important to you? So we had a pajama party, we created this mission statement of our 10 core values, it now hangs on our wall and it’s been one of the most meaningful things that we did.
