Mike
Carruthers:
What do happy people tend to have that less happy
people don't?
Robert
Biswas-Diener:
They tend to have very high quality, trusting and
intimate close social relationships. Robert
Biswas-Diener, co-author of the book Happiness:
Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth… People
they can count on for support in times of need, people they can share their successes
with, people that they can just have fun and enjoy hobbies and recreation with.
And the least happy people are far less likely to have these types of tight social
networks and close relationships. But
are people happy because they have friends or do they have friends because they're
happy? And the
short answer is both. When you put people in a good mood they become more attractive
to others, others like to seek out and interact with people who are in a good
mood. So if you're happy, that happiness is actually going to lead you to have
more friends. And just the reverse is true as well - if you have good high quality
social relationships (even if you don't have many of them) that sense of social
security will help lead you to be more happy. As
much as we want and need to be happy, we also need to be unhappy sometimes. Sometimes
we want a little bit of that emotional messiness. Sometimes we want a little bit
of disappointment. Sometimes being in an argument can actually feel kind of good.
And if you're not willing to make that decision yourself, then life typically
makes that decision for you because we all suffer from arguments, money stresses,
parking tickets and what have you. At
somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm
Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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